What's The Buzz
I can never use my bathroom again.I go out of my way not to show prejudice to any living thing. Except, of course, on Monday mornings when I despise every creature on earth equally. But in general, I...
View ArticleBack to Nature
One day on my way back to work after lunch, a lizard fell on my head. It was one of those clear blue sky meets reality moments. And while I was somewhat startled, and the lizard showed definite signs...
View ArticleThat's Baloney
Today I tried to make a bologna sandwich. You wouldn’t think it would be so hard.Ingredients: bread, mayo, bologna, cheese, kittenWait. What?These days, there’s a sweet, new, innocent face in the...
View ArticleA Coupon By Any Other Name
I don’t mind so much that my mother never got my name right the first time. I was the youngest, so she’d go down the list. Even if she never got mine right, I knew I’d better answer sooner or...
View ArticleDistressed
I have a niece who reads Pinterest like it’s the lost book of the Harry Potter series.I’ve seen Pinterest. It’s definitely Science Fiction.Without the Science part. “Look at all the things you can do,”...
View ArticleHall of Blame
This is not a new post, which is kind of the point. It's from the last time everybody got mad and didn't do much about Very Bad Stuff in sports. So unless we come up with a better plan than putting...
View ArticleSweet Tea, Big City
This weekend, I’m going to the theatre.It’s not that I don’t get out much, but the highlight of my life lately has been prying dog food out from under the stove.Don’t ask.The theatre in our little town...
View ArticleGetting Trashed
Yesterday at lunch, I got stuck in the trash can. Getting stuck isn’t new for me. I’m forever ending up in a pinch. But the trash can thing was a new twist. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it....
View ArticleSchool Days - Fists and Furies
I need a lunchbox for the Captain, but I’m afraid to go to Wal-Mart.For local kids, it’s the last week of summer. Moms across the county have been crossing off the days since June. They’ve been...
View ArticleBugging Out
School started this week. I didn’t go. I have a framed piece of paper hanging on my wall (sitting on the floor behind the door) that says I already went.So why am I getting graded?My email brings me...
View ArticleDropped Calls
Dear Defunct Cell Phone People,I got your end-of-service reminder text at breakfast. And at noon. And at dinnertime.Every day for two weeks.Maybe you’re not getting the message. We’re through.You might...
View ArticleBeware the TimeShare
Today's the day! The line in the sandbar. The last Strawberry Field Forever. Have you ever had a thorn that didn't just stick in your side, it went all the way through like a gut feeling shish kebob?...
View ArticleDanger Cat: Roll Out!
It’s not that I don’t like surprises. I just like to know what they’re going to be before they happen, in case I need to phone 9-1-1 where they keep a disaster specialist dedicated to me on hand.I...
View ArticleRemembering
A Little Boy Gone on 9/11by Carole Conner Oldroydon Saturday, September 11, 2010 at 3:05pm I post this every 9/11. I made a promise to myself and to this little boy's memory that I would never forget...
View ArticleGonna Fly Now
I’m contemplating taking a trip. It doesn’t look that far on the map. A few states up, maybe a little to the left, give or take a few fast food restaurants and a national monument or two, but...
View ArticleBrain Food for the Zombie's Soul
While I appreciate a stack of homemade hoecakes as much as the next Southern Belle, I just can’t bring myself to get past the pictures of a teeth-gritting Paula Deen grinning up at me in a...
View ArticleBand Books
The Captain who, for reasons I can’t fathom, insists on checking to see what I’m doing at any given time, strolled through the living room when I was mouse deep in research. I’m not sure why he checks...
View ArticleShut Up and Shut Down
“Mom, there’s a “Death before Dinner” sign on the kitchen door.”“I know. We’re having a shutdown to show you how government works.”Son One pulled a bag of leftover Easter Candy from his underwear...
View ArticleFashion Scents
Occasionally one of the guys will accidentally wear something that matches. If I’m very careful and don’t mention it out loud, there’s a chance they will wear it out in public, and people will think...
View ArticleLayla & Levi's
Now that the kids are old enough to leave at home without having to shell out the bucks for a SLED check on a babysitter, we’re able to go out more often. A year or two ago, the man who promised to...
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